Big decisions & Self-doubt: What I’ve been up to the last 2 years

For the past year I’ve been in limbo. Limbo between jobs, between countries, between pay cheques and houses. In every way possible way, things have been uncertain.

I haven’t really felt in control of much/anything, not even of what I eat or when I sleep.

To you at home it might look like my life is crazy — a complete and utter mess. A “stay clear of her”, kind of thing.

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Or it might look like an epic adventure, void of responsibilities and the humdrum of the day-to-day.

I think it’s been a mixture of both.

I’ve been incredibly fortunate to have stayed with extraordinarily kind and generous people, literally across the world. I met my husband (say whatttttttt!) in what seems like a scene from a Rom-Com.

It really has been a year full of surprises. But, it has also been filled with considerable stress and anxiety.

I’ve been constantly questioning if I’m making good decisions or even the right decisions. (Because good decisions exist, right?)

And I’ve been worrying if I am going to regret my spontaneous choices.

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How I created my own stress funk, (and how I got out of it!)

 

About a month ago my husband and I moved to China. (Because people just decide things like that … and buy flights the same day).

We’re going to be foreign English teachers at this new training school which focuses on the Arts. And I’m so excited to start teaching again!

So fast forward (rewind?) to 2 weeks ago.

Our jobs were ready and our working visas in progress. The last hurdle was to find an apartment.

It’s worth mentioning that while we were house searching, we still weren’t entirely sure where our school would be.

Yep, you heard right. Our school was negotiating on a location, and we didn’t know where we’d actually be working.

So, two weeks ago …

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“Why is he with her?”

 

Body image. Two words that can send even the strongest of us running. Literally? Literally.

They have definitely sent me running more times than I’d care to admit, but I’m admitting it now.

If you don’t know already, my husband is a personal trainer. He’s strong and committed to looking after his body, and has a passion to help others learn to do the same.

When we first met I thought his profession was SO cool. I mean, he’s fit, he’s into me, and he can write me free workouts. Win, win! 😉

But it wasn’t long until my perfectionism found a way to twist it into another way to judge myself.

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