Another year around the sun; today I am another 365 days STRONGER.
This year I've played on two continents, as different as they are far apart from each other.
I've traveled. I've missed home. I've eaten some *highly* questionable food. Witnessed all-imaginable-colours in glorious sunsets. And met an obscene amount of green, ocean giants. 🐢
I've been broken open. I've looked *so* deep into the darkness of myself, a few times I've had to summon STRENGTH to clamber back out.
Real life lessons were had. Over and over. For the self-doubt, for the tears, for the indecision, I'm grateful. And for those who were by my side, I'm thankful. Let's do it again for the 25th time. xo
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#birthday #itsmybirthday #happybirthdaytome #happybirthdaytome🎉 #believeinyourselfie #believeinyourself #lifelivedbeautifully #selfie #selfietime #shamelessselfie #pursuitofhappiness #another365days #celebrate #family #friends #imhome
It's been a bonkers few days. I've been offered 5 jobs in Taiwan & I've turned down all 5, & instead bought a plane ticket home.
Why? Because I've learnt what one of my red flags is when it comes to decision making.
1 example is the phrase: "I can see how good it could be *if* ...". When I say this, it's a GIANT red flag ⛳️ that I'm living & operating in the realm of potentiality, not actuality.
Granted, just because you can see how good things *could* be doesn't mean it's *always* a warning sign. But there is a difference between realistic potential & imagined potential.
In this example I was filling things into that red flag sentence which wouldn't actually make me feel as fulfilled as I wanted. Because I wanted the (right now) impossible outcome to live in Taiwan, but not to teach.
I thought I could deal with teaching if I could supplement my working time with volunteering & online courses. (Neither of which are bad by the way). But, I still couldn't shake this feeling of it not being enough, not what I *actively* wanted my year to look like.
After 20+ hours of thinking & talking it out (we basically didn't move except to eat), I noticed how often I'd said my red flag phrase.
I was struggling to make a decision because I kept fixating on how good it *could* be staying here if (insert impossible or inaccurate thing here). What I really wanted I couldn't have. I had to look at it from actuality. I had to swallow the fact that the timing sucked. And I just wasn't emotionally/mentally in the right place to teach ESL anymore.
I'm not going to lie to you. It was crap. It felt like a kind of grief, realizing the plan I was *so* excited about before, didn't fit me now.
But I'm grateful I've now identified one of my red flag phrases though.
Because while it was tough letting go of the plan, (& Taiwan is really fucking amazing!) now I feel excited, at peace, & energized to do a whole new thing.
Keep tabs on things you often repeat to yourself when you're making decisions. Because whatever you repeat, is an indicator of a mindset you're working from. I don't want you to miss out on big & scary, but awesome decisions.
Here's to coming home! xo 💋
