How to get out of the comparison trap & get the career you want

You might not be where you want to be. You might not be working to where you want to be.

Maybe you are like a lot of people I’ve spoken to recently, just counting down the days until the weekend. Buttttttt the weekend just keeps feeling a little further away.

 

How to stop comparing yourself & get the career you want

If you took a minute to think about this question, (I know, big breath) would your answer be that your satisfied with your job/career/lifestyle?

This question has made me a little more nervous than I’d like to admit at times.

We’re constantly bombarded with opinions from people (people we both do and don’t know!) about our life choices. Like …

Are you going to go to Uni? What will you study? Can you get a good job from studying that?

Or

When are you going to get married? And then you get married and it’s: when are you going to have kids?

You know the drill.

Eye Roll Zoey

There’s always something else you “should” be worrying about, like life is some kind of checklist and you should always be looking for the next thing.

Obviously, there are TONS of problems with this way of thinking but the two things I want to focus in on are:

1) What happens when you make (and measure) your decisions against these weird standards

2) How you can let go of these “should do’s” to actually lead the life YOU want.

So, what does happen when you make (and measure) your decisions against these weird standards?

Well first of all you lose the ability to know what you really want. Because it’s way easier to go along with what culture is telling you is the next logical, proper thing to do.

It removes responsibility from you if you just go along with what’s expected. It means you never step out and try the crazy ideas and passions you have.

Instead you’re in the corporate job you hate, but let stress you out so much. You’re the proverbial cog in wheel and if shit hits the fan, well, you’re not held solely liable, which feels comforting.

Or you might be in a corporate job chugging along just fine. But still have that niggling feeling that says: “is this all there is?”.

When you just go along and let life happen to you it becomes significantly more difficult to know what you actually want, like, and believe in.

It’s so easy to get sucked into the cycle of eat, sleep, work, complain about work, pray for the weekend to come quickly, and do it all again.

It’s enticing because it’s safe. You know what’s to come, even if you really don’t like it.

Alarm Meme
We’ve all been there …

But what happens then?

Well, when you make decisions like this you could miss out on some really cool opportunities that might actually be completely amazing.

But because they don’t fit society’s norm, you let the fear of going against the grain push you into the safer option.

More dangerously, when you measure your decisions against what other people are doing you can very easily begin to think your choices are less than.

All my friends meme
Via Google Images

It’s so easy to worry you’re making the “wrong” decisions when you compare what you choose to do, against your friends/FB friends/random people on Insta.

They did a degree? Should I do that too? She just left her job with all its benefits to open up a shop? Is she crazy?!

Although it is tempting to fixate on other’s decisions because you just want to find the magic path that will lead you exactly where you want to be (without actually walking the walk, and making the mistakes it took), you know really, it’s never going to give you that.

When you focus on what other people are doing and choosing, and then compare this to your own decisions, it’s only dissatisfying.

So how can you let go of this “should do” mentality and comparison trap?

First, recognize there isn’t a right way to do life. There’s many ways of doing your life, and not one-way fits everyone.

I know it’s obvious, right? But we all need reminding of this since we seem to continue to compare our lives to another’s—like it’s even possible to equate each of our choices.

Second, answer the question I opened this post with. I know it’s scary to ask.

But if you’re not satisfied with where you’re at in life, what can you do about it? What can be changed?

You can’t make any changes if you never admit there’s anything wrong, or anything you’re not entirely happy with.

If you’re really not happy with your job/lifestyle/career, well that’s exactly why I’m writing this post.

As crazy as it sounds I believe everyone has the capability to have a job/career they’re passionate about and actually enjoy waking up for.

I really don’t believe everyone is just meant to groan as their alarm clock goes off for the 7th time and have to mentally rally themselves to get their butt into gear and get out of the door for work.

So, sit down. Make a cup of tea (or coffee I guess) with a pen and some paper and answer these 3 questions.

  1. Do you feel energized by the work you’re doing now? If not, what kind of work do you think would make you feel energized?
  2. What does your ideal work/life balance look like? What would your day to day schedule look like?
  3. What’s one step you can do to get a little closer to the life you want?

After you’ve answered these I want you to email/FB/comment me your answers (whatever you’re the most comfortable with).

I will help you start taking the steps to building the lifestyle you want and deserve. Because I really do believe you deserve it and can actually have it.

You don’t have to stay in something just because it’s what everyone does, it’s safe, or whatever your reason is.

And I’m here to help you with that third question; let’s take that step to creating the work-life balance you want. Seriously, get in touch.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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